Hmmm…what’s coming up?

August 16, 2016 at 9:41 pm (By Ron)

nixoneisenhower“So, Dick, this Trump guy…what an asshat!  I think I had Chrysler with a hood ornament like that hair!”

“Dick, is it true that Bill is running his side piece, Monica, for POTUS?  The stones on that guy!”

“No, Ike he’s running the other one.”  “The one with a voice like Nosferatu’s fingernails on the blackboard?  The one who looks like a potato stuffed with straw?  You’re kidding me!”  [Nixon shrugs]

[Ike looks through the photograph…at us]

“Well, we fought The Great Depression and World War II, but I feel sorry for you guys…you can’t seem to find your ass with both hands.”

“Dick and I are probably gone by your time –”

“Speak for yourself, Ike, I’m probably still hanging around…and even if I’m not, Henry is, you can bet your ass he is, and I’ve already told him what to do about now.”

[Ike gives Nixon the side eye]

“Look, don’t pay these fools at the top too much mind. You’ve screwed the pooch this time around and you’re going to give a con man or a criminal the job we used to have.  But cheer up, you’re Americans, you know which end is up. Have the faith in yourselves I’ve always known you should have because you ARE Americans, right Dick?”

“Absolutely”

“I apologize for the failures of the guys who came after me,” [Gives Nixon more side eye]  but do what you feel you need to do to get the ship of state righted, kick some ass, and you’ll be fine!”

“We’ll still be here, laughing it up….join us, fellow Yanks!”

 

 

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