I heard from Randy! I will let him tell you whatever he wishes about how things are going, but what’s most important, he sounds good in himself.
In my answer to him I found myself expressing regret and remorse at abandoning my “innkeeper” role at this blog:
I haven’t been blogging hardly at all, and realize vaguely that this is like being “a bad hostess” — a blog can be a sort of gathering place. I’ve been posting little odds and ends on Facebook only because they don’t seem to make it to the blog post threshold in length or substance; but I think this is . . . inhospitable. I feel like an innkeeper who just walked away one day. I suppose I could post these little dribs and drabs on Ambiance just to form the nucleus of/excuse for a conversation. I don’t seem to have it in me to provoke serious discussions, so much. But Facebook is about as cozy a place for a conversation as an airport gate area. Still, I’m becoming very in-turned. I’m getting ready to write something about life with Jacques, I think, and this is preceded by a very long inhale in preparation for sinking down into the depths where such things come from.
I wonder whether, instead of writing those little conversational things on Facebook, I should just write them here in a kind of running post—call it “The Lounge.” We need a place to meet and hang out, to come in out of the cold November rain and dark. I would like it to look like the cozy, classy bar I passed last night on the way to nearby friends’ place. The lights were low, candles and tiny white Christmas bulbs; the polished oak wood glowed golden. I think it was called “One If By Land, Two If By Sea.” It just made you want to turn aside and go in. I don’t know if it had a fireplace but it felt as if it did.
By comparison, Facebook is a fluorescent-lit airport concourse. Every time I go over there I smell synthetic carpeting. It seems public, exposed, impersonal, and ugly. It’s partly the bad (nonexistent, airport-concourse-like) design, partly the boring, trivial nature of so many of the posts (including my own). Yet, as I told Randy, I don’t feel up to starting substantive conversations any more.
Sit down by the fire and make small talk with me.