So….it’s that time of year to dance!
This is a colorized lobby card from Top Hat (colorized back then, not now)
The Walnut Room was the upstairs room of Drake’s a long-gone, long time Ann Arbor institution. I got a chance to buy this and another sign from the place when they closed.
This post is long overdue. My housing crisis is over, and I now have a place to live. Now the point of my writing this is not to talk about how I did this and that to acquire this place. Rather, what I want to talk about here is you. All of you. You are who I have in the world. I am not a man of wealth, or family. What family I did have gave up on me years – decades – ago. My remaining living sister did not bother to tell me my other sister died 5 years ago. Is there a term stronger than estrangement? I need that term.
But why am I writing now? It’s simple….I’m grateful. That’s more than just a thank you; it’s not a single moment, but a feeling that carries forward into the future. What do I have to give you in gratitude? The best I can for each of you, and the best I can be for myself . I’ve failed at this in the past, primarily because I didn’t know I really valued in myself.
I have such a long list of people to thank, but no Oscar speeches, and no Hallmark card prose either.
I spent a lot of time thinking how to do this thanking, but I’ll break it to two parts: feeling and doing. Obviously, I’m a bit overwhelmed with feeling these days; relief, joy, surreality. If I could walk up and hug each and every one of you I would, with delight. But I simply can’t do that! Rats!
But the best way isn’t with feeling, it’s with doing. Fortunately, I have a lot to do! Health, wealth…a real home. That would have a lot of meaning to me. Ideally, I would love to have a large enough home to throw a large enough party to invite you all to!
For my friends who live in a different locale than I, what I want most is a visit where I see you in your own setting!
Those of you who know me for some time…I have a novel to deliver and I promise that will get finished.
I will be going back to the Y and working out every day. A car will be needed!
For now….let me just thank you all again for everything from emotional, to financial, to spiritual support.
In front of the new fireplace and my Maxfield Parrish print of “Enchantment”
Ok, I thought I would hold off a bit until I could get some photos and such, but I thought I’d let you know that I have moved into a new place! Yes, it’s complicated, but I’ll be here at least a year, probably more.
I’ve been getting my stuff back from friends who have held onto it for far too long. I’m still lacking a lot of things…like a sofa or pans! But I have a nice new bed on my old bed frame, and slowly but surely things are getting in shape.
This small island of a blog has been a touchstone in my coming back after 3 years of horrible nonsense that I was not sure I was going to get out of. I am grateful to you “regulars” here, especially to Annie, for making this my go-to rather than my own blog! More news will be filled in as I go along. I need wheels!
Here you go Louise…..this is Daffodil, one of the rabbits whose house is where I am staying at the moment.
Asleep as usual….
Hi everyone, Ron here.
It’s true I do love you all! Our wonderful/wonderous (you pick!) blog hostess, LouiseM, for her faith and concern….everyone who shows up and makes us have good conversation.
I’m fine….things are moving ahead, and, more importantly, things are not reeling backwards. I will save some details for another post, but it didn’t want anyone concerned.
Here I am a day late! Ah, well…. I enclose my younger self to show you the proper Christmas sass:
I, of course, engaged in the usual Christmas Watching Of The Die Hard (“Now I have a machine gun! Ho Ho Ho”)
I am staying at a friends place for the moment, so no Ron freezing stories….I’m not in the perfect position, but things are ok for now. I hope you all had an excellent holiday!
You know of what I speak! That day when you are at the peak of your powers in life, when you assemble your Marshals and Colors to deal with foes that seem intractable! Everyone warned you about them; you heeded them not! You knew what glories awaited you! You knew what strength of will, what courage, what esprit, what — dare I say it! — joie de vivre brought you to this field for this, your greatest of triumphs!
I always use this day as a beacon to look forward. Much has been poor for me for a long time….perhaps I have lived on my Elba already! But I can’t give up on life when so manypositives are on the horizon. I wish all of you that same vision in your life….do not merely endure; Triumph!
Addendum: As you can now see… I embrace the concept fully!
Hi Folks, Ron here…
Remember that back pain I mentioned? Yeah….still there! Monday I had to walk 7-8 blocks to see my disability attorney and by the time I got there my back rebelled and I fell in the lawyers office! I caught myself, and I guess if you’re going to fall that’s the place to do it! I suffered in bed with it the next two days…but Thursday I had to leave the hotel I’m at (I’m a bit behind!) but the hotel manager is very nice (she’s been very patient with moi) and left my stuff there to see if I could get help from a church 4 blocks away. No such luck, and I fell twice walking there! (caught myself the first time and sort of rolled on my shoulder and didn’t try to stop it with my hands) and walked back to the hotel where I said I have to go to the ER. I was in 2 ER’s that evening, getting some drug to relax my back, (which only partially worked) and then to have long chats about depression with psychs in their ER. I didn’t really sleep (in fits in a chair) and in the morning…I went to the Y where I spent the day. But still having problems walking (I slipped and banged my head into a concrete wall. Poor wall….) I went BACK to the ER, where they let me sleep on a stretcher most of the night and gave me more drugs, and a script. This morning, I had to wait 5 hours for a cab (it’s football game day here!) and went back to the Y…which closed at 7. So I’m here in a coffeehouse for a bit….and then…I have no idea. The Y opens again at 7am. Until then who knows where I’ll be. Every damn social services agency has been zero help and a pox on them all!
Sorry for the ramble; but I try to keep it honest.
Addendum: So what happened? I tried to wait outside for the Y to open….but it was too cold and the feeling of being left out in the cold (literally!) overwhelmed me and I went back the ER…again. But last night I almost made it all the way through but I just couldn’t sleep and am now in the Y but totally exhausted.
Many things go forward, but more go backward. I persevere.
My back has been killin’ me lately…I couldn’t sleep last night on it, but I was so tired I wound up sleeping during the day. Ugh. But the writing continues apace. I’m in the zone….I know this because my mind is going full bore and twenty different things at once. I snag some of these things out of the air and wring them into the prose. I catch myself singing a lot while I write….not even being aware for some time that I’m doing so. I’ll get up and pace around when I’m stuck….and I can’t even describe how my brain has gone into another gear. It’s thoughts, feelings, sights and sounds all swirling around the Great Red Spot of my overheated noggin. Sometimes it feels amazing….but sometimes it’s a damn nightmare! I woke up three nights ago because two of my characters “beat me up” in a dream and threw my body out onto a busy roadway to get run over. But it’s all grist as they say.
Thanks for listening to my goofy ramblings.
I’m in the middle of a lot of grief, ok? I have a lot to deal with, not many resources, (but I’m a beotch with the ones I do have) and a psychological state that….could be better. Naturally, my mind has decided that it’s time to start writing again. Oy.
Now some of this interest has come from recent encouragement right here on this blog! Never think that a kind word goes unheard. I need so many….but that’s another story. But I saw the architecture and heard the music in my mind and I had to smelt it down into letters and words and sentences and paragraphs. And I am doing that now. No, I’m not putting it on here…at least not yet.
There is a part of me that really wishes I didn’t have this monkey on my back or that I could somehow tame it to fetch coins from me. I’m willing to be the organ grinder. But when I’m here, the diamond that catches each damn photon and reflects it back outwards, away from me, back towards YOU the reader, it’s when I’m happiest…and saddest and most afraid. I wish I could just make it pretty, useful, productive, but the light is the light. Often necessary even if it blinds. I recoil when I write some of the things I do. But that’s just “me.” Maybe I realize I’m not all important and so I shut up and play my guitar. Let others decide if it’s music. Brian Eno once said that while you’re working on it a piece of art is all yours, but when you “finish” it then it belongs to the world. People read into it what they will and there isn’t much you can do about that.
Back to it! Love to you all.