Word.

(just click on the link and then press little green arrow to hear)

Loss of hope was one of the factors brought up as significant, with mention made that it only takes a moment of lost hope for someone to take a life, their own or another’s.

In addition to physical and brain chemistry issues which also factor into distortions in thinking, one of the spiritual and emotional issues mentioned with loss of heart and hope involved the experience of denial (by self and/or others) following disappointment and loss, where an “It doesn’t matter, It was no big deal” cover is applied to something that had significant impact. However, deep loss, trauma, and/or an experience of betrayal (of one’s own body or by others) can also have a profound effect on well-being. Any or all of which can lead to depression, a sense of desolation and estrangement; which in turn, drain a person of desire, anticipation, and vitality and culminate in loss of hope, heart and sometimes death..

Whatever was involved in your nephew’s decision to end his life, realpc, the end result is grief, deep sorrow, and overwhelming thoughts and emotions for those who loved and knew him. Moving through something this big is going to take time and require endurance and care, for yourself and family. May you receive what you need to abide and see this through.

Donna B, I was in the process of writing this comment when you posted your above response. What I’ve written is awareness from others while your words reflect lived experience and I don’t want to come on top of that. I’m hoping it fits alongside. I received your other words, expressing what your son meant to you, with sorrow and regard. They touched my heart as they revealed yours. As for failure, the picture that came to mind was one of a sailing ship floundering and taking on water due to accident, system breakdown, or a storm that could not be weathered. Once it’s turned over on its side, it is difficult to right, no matter how well-intentioned, purposeful or dedicated those who care might be. I appreciate not only your description of sharing one facet at a time , but also the facet shared. Thank you.

Karen, go to 3:07 or so… you’ll hear that you’ve known of Richard Wagner all along… perhaps just not his name.

So… what’s more John Wayneish? Ride of the Valkyries ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU or Flying Dutchman ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqezCR_XzaI )?

Oh my… I’ve just said I wish my son would have been unhappy. Well, that’s not exactly what I mean, but “unhappy” seems sort of like a euphemism. Although an inability to feel happiness, well that sort of unhappy I can see leading to extreme measures like suicide.

Despair — no hope — that’s ultimately why my son committed suicide. He was in constant physical pain of varying degrees. Imagine having a constant charley horse. His intellect was intact, but his ability to communicate was not. That’s frustrating. That intellect allowed him to understand what his physical and other disabilities were costing him socially, but then pain, anger, despair would override the intellect and he’d behave in ways that made everything worse and he’d know it.

It was a horrid, downward spiral. He had attempted suicide several times and once told me that the only thing keeping him from it was the fear of survival and living in worse physical condition than before.

He didn’t think he was important to anyone. I wish I could have told him about this hole in my life without him. He was 35, and he was my “go to” person for certain things that I couldn’t say to anyone else. I don’t think he knew this, knew how important he was to me other than the fact that I loved him because he was my child. I don’t think he understood that he was needed.

I don’t think he knew that he had “go to” people ready and waiting for him. Did we fail because we didn’t let him know or was there something in him that didn’t let him know?

She tried going to see him, she tried backing off and waiting. Nothing made a difference.

They are so wrong. Evil is real, and it has to be real, this world could not exist without evil.

I have thought very little about this subject, because I never had a friend or relative who killed themself, before this. I have thought about wanting to die myself, whenever I have problems, but I knew I never would. I guess everyone thinks about it.