The lighter side of Florida crime!
First up:
Nude dude on beach fleeing deputies left ID, cellphone, shorts behind
Deputies arrived in a marked four-wheel-drive patrol vechicle to respond to a report of nudity on a public St. Augustine beach Thursday morning. Once there, they saw a naked man walking along the water’s edge ….
Okay, I’ve actually done that, once, long ago, when I was still young and at least arguably worth seeing nude. Several of us were talking about going skinny dipping, but no one else had the nerve. Actually it was great, as the water temps were very warm and the surf was light. Also? Didn’t get stung by jelly fish!
… in view of several beachgoers, according to an arrest affidavit from the St. John Sheriff’s Office.
Um, but I didn’t do that. It was the middle of the night (like 3 AM or thereabouts) and the only witnesses were the people I was with. Plus, I was auditioning, as it were, for two women I was interested in. I eventually ended up involved with one of them, and probably just mis-timed things with the other. Oh well, the follies of youth!
But back to our intrepid naked man. It turns out that alcohol was probably involved! I know, who would have guessed?
Also, witnesses told police that a SECOND naked man had been walking around the area. They eventually found the shorts, phones and IDs of the people involved. Nothing like getting plastered in the middle of the day and walking around naked at the beach. Other than getting arrested, the second most likely bad outcome would be some NASTY sunburn!
And that takes us to story number two:
Man running from deputies attacked by alligator
You would think the headline says it all, but not quite!
A Florida man fleeing a traffic stop was attacked by an alligator Thursday, according to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office.
Deputies attempted to pull Bryan Zuniga, 20, over for not driving in a single lane around 2:47 a.m. near the 7100 block of 78th Avenue North. Zuniga stopped the vehicle, jumped out of the passenger side and broke through a fence, deputies said.
He reached a water treatment plant between Westchester Boulevard and 71st Street North, which is where he said the alligator attacked him.
Deputies found Zuniga at a nearby hospital where he was being treated for multiple puncture wounds to his face, arm and armpit area.
He was arrested around 12 p.m., taken to the Pinellas County Jail and charged with breaking or injuring fences, fleeing and eluding a police officer, driving while licenses suspended and resisting an officer without violence, reports show.
He’s being charged with ‘breaking or injuring fences’! This guy isn’t exactly Keyser Söze.
The Down-side of Modern Criminal Forensics
Modern DNA detection is a great boon for people trying to solve certain crimes. But there is a real down-side risk involved as well: criminals working harder to destroy evidence.
Warning, what follows is disturbing, so I’ll put it ‘below the fold’ for the squeamish.
Random Observations #3 (Updated)
So many things have changed since I was my daughter’s age.
- There’s one fewer planet in our Solar System now.
- There are a lot more planets known now, all outside our system.
- When I was her age, we went to the Moon; these days we have to hitchhike rides to low Earth orbit from the remnant of our one-time mortal enemy.
- Which means that all those planets are just that much farther away now.
- The brontosaurus is no more, replaced by the more taxonomically correct apatosaurus.
- The disposable diaper.
- The mores and morals of the country.
- The socio-economic and demographic structure of the country: we’re a lot more like a Third World country these days in so many ways.
- Extremely powerful computers are so common that they’re hardly remarked upon anymore – except by people roughly my age and older. We remember when computers of any power were much less common than toasters, not more common than radios.
UPDATE: wj makes the following additional, excellent point in the comments:
I’d add ubiquitous cameras. It’s not just that everybody has a cell phone with a camera . . . and seems to use it constantly. It’s that cameras seem to be in every public space, and running most of the time. No doubt this is handy for police trying to track criminals. But it means that you have to get a long way into the country to have any chance of any privacy in your life.
Random Observations #1
- Is it just me, or have others noticed a distinct improvement in the quality of homeless people and beggars lately? I haven’t been downtown in a few months, but the last few times I went it seemed that the homeless people hanging out around Lake Eola and the main library were younger, neater, cleaner, more organized and clearer of eye than previously. The other day leaving Sam’s a beggar was working the exit of the parking lot. He was better dressed than I was, frankly, his sign stated that he had been out of work and had two children to support, and he was selling water. He had probably bought the water at Sam’s from the look of the case. I didn’t see his price, but if he was selling them at a dollar a bottle he stood to make 80 to 90 cents profit on each bottle. Sell ten or so in the hour and you’ve just earned minimum wage. Don’t, and you’ve spent an hour standing in the hot sun for nothing.
- The main character in the children’s show Dino Dan is clearly having a psychotic breakdown – and none of the other characters seem the least concerned about it!
- My wife and I should have had children at least ten years earlier.
- Colgate Total Advanced toothpaste is apparently made with catnip.
- How the Hell did I get so old?
“Like a raging inferno of Norwegian cheese, Carlsen has held the world in rapt attention since his arrival on the scene.”
That’s the opening line of a profile of the young Norwegian Grand Master Magnus Carlsen, who just qualified to face World Champion Vishwanathan Anand for the Chess championship of the world.
I have no idea what a raging inferno of Norwegian cheese is.
Another story about architecture and the other half.
Once again from Vanity Fair. The story is more interesting for the descriptions of the vast holdings of wealth hidden within the remnants of the British Empire.
I’m here to ruin your fun.
Over at Althouse a commenter asks if there is a statute of limitations on the need to warn people about spoilers.
The answer is yes. How long does that statute last? You can judge that for yourself. Read further at your own risk. Read the rest of this entry »
