The old family motto came from a comment by my mother:
We’re not crazy; we’re just mean.
Too true. But since I’ve either disowned my family or been disowned by them (and good riddance either way), I want a new motto. Today, in a text to my wife, I may have hit upon it.
If I’m going to be a fluffy pink poodle with purple sequins, I’m going to do it the right way.
Context might help you understand it, but why worry about that? Should probably make it first person plural, though….
September is National Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. My wife, Kim, has asked me to broadcast this information. More than a decade ago she lost her father to prostate cancer, so this matter is near and dear to her heart.
So to all the gentleman, and other males, out there, go get a finger shoved up your ass by a professional. It might just save your life. And it might spare your daughters, wives, sons and other loved ones from a feeling of loss due to your absence.
PSA = Public Service Announcement
PSA Test = Prostate-Specific Antigen Test, a blood test to help detect prostate cancer; used in conjunction with Digital Rectal Exams for screening purposes.
Hot enough to melt people’s brains.
A friend of mine, Heather Fallon, posted this example to FaceBook:
Posted Friday, 7/25
A few days ago, 9 year old Jake and our 14 year old neighbor, ventured out (with full parental permissions) on their bikes, wearing helmets, with cell phones, cash, and water bottles, for a 3 mile bike ride (sidewalk the WHOLE route) to the comic book store. Just as they got to their destination, two deputy sheriffs AND a state trooper pulled up in front of them. Someone called 911 and said “it’s way too hot for two young boys to be riding bikes.” The caller described the youngest boy as being “FIVE”. His neighborhood friend who has been our neighbor for 14 years (ALL OF JAKE’S LIFE), when asked by the Po-Po, said Jake was “I dunno. Like 5 or 6 maybe.” Parents were called and went and retrieved the boys. I wasn’t there but I think Billy asked the cops something like, “WTF? Y’all got nuthin’ better to do? THREE cop cars had to respond? They had helmets. They biked together. They had a phone and made a call home at their halfway mark. We finally get them out of the video game CAVE and What did they do WRONG?” They answered a complaint from someone alleging two boys were in danger. From heat. Outside. In Florida. In July. And then just as the words “heat exhaustion” were mentioned, Jake hurled red Gatorade.
Yep. Reminds me of the police showing up in force at my house late last year because someone called the cops on me for having abducted a child. The child was my daughter, and apparently someone heard me tell her, “Catherine, I won’t leave you behind. I will never leave you behind,” and took that to mean I was kidnapping her. (What I was actually doing was reassuring my very cranky child that I wasn’t, you know, going to leave her behind someplace.)
All of which gets me to a conversation at our household this morning:
Wife: It’s National Parents Day!
Wife: I think this means we can run away!
Daughter: _I_ don’t want to run away!
Wife: You weren’t invited!
I’m pretty sure that could get us arrested.
Here, concerning Bowe Bergdahl. I don’t like to discuss politics here, so I do it there. Here is for discussing more important issues, such as getting Rick-rolled, or the joy of having a potty trained child.
But this post is one I’d like to spread around a little more.
Thankfully, these are all positive.
First, my idiot fugitive neighbor got arrested again Thursday. So he now sits in cell BRC3CN7 of the Orange County Jail. (He had skipped his trial date of April 14th on the hit and run and became a fugitive. He showed up several times next door after that.) Now just awaiting the foreclosure and then his girlfriend and their dogs will be gone permanently.
Second, Disney claimed the other day that they actually HAD cancelled my ‘benefit’ on February 28th. But it took them until April 30th to process the incorrectly billed statements and mail something to the diagnostic lab. Hopefully that is FINALLY sorted.
Finally, some friends are in town this week, and I’m hoping to finally meet them. If lucky, we might even get an appearance from our hostess.
Anyway, hope things are going well elsewhere, too.
UPDATE: Looking forward to tomorrow!
That’s what my daughter had to say after seeing … maybe you’d like to guess first. I’ll show you who below the fold.
Cheery stories, both, five years into the “‘recovery'”.
Every other story right now is a side-show to the big news, which is that the American economy is being hollowed out like a melon rind, and our elites just don’t care enough to even address the issue. I’d tell you to remember that come the fall election season, but that just doesn’t matter anymore either.
NOTE: I’m now using three marks for the opening and closing of the scare quotation marks around the word RECOVERY because two just don’t seem like enough.
Several months after I was PROMISED, one more time, that everything had been fixed, things aren’t fixed. I cannot believe … My frustration levels are really climbing. I have been trying to get this fixed for YEARS. YEARS! And they will not fix it.
I am starting to think of hiring an attorney to sue their goddamned dumb, evil asses for emotional distress. John Morgan is here in town, and he’s as scary a lawyer as you can find in the country. Yeah, maybe that’s what I need to do….
CAVEAT: I try to avoid political posts here at Ambiance. But today, as yesterday, there is some economic news worthy of note.
The new jobs report was released today. I have heard a few people make some optimistic noises about the fact that private sector jobs have matched the 2008 peak in terms of numbers. (See here, for example, though they do have the decency to caveat the hell out of the article.)
What I’m not hearing, and don’t expect to hear from the Administration, is a comment about full-time jobs. As of March 1 2014, the US economy had 3,872,000 FEWER full-time jobs than it did at its peak in November 2007. And that’s after almost five years of recovery.
And given that the working age population has grown considerably in the intervening years, the employment situation is actually even worse than it appears.
So don’t let the bastards tell you how goddamned good we’ve got it, and what a wonderful job they’ve done. Because it just ain’t so.
(Sorry, I’ve been trying to get the graph to embed, but wordpress isn’t accepting the FRED site’s code. I’ll see what I can do to fix it later.)